


i wanna see some ass

by opalorphic



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Comedy, Crack Treated Seriously, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Beta Read, Romantic Comedy, consensual ass slapping, i dont know how to tag this, i guess??, not beta read we die like men, this is the second most ridiculous fic i have ever written but take this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:41:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28966278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/opalorphic/pseuds/opalorphic
Summary: “Did you just slap my ass?” Karl asks; his eyes popping out of their sockets. Sapnap is semi-red, but a damn cheeky smirk plasters his face, anyway.“Actually,” he begins, a tremor in his voice. “I firmly grasped it.” He waggles his finger around like he made some sort of sound statement. He did not.“Did you…” Karl glances at Sapnap, his eyebrows furrowing. “Did you just… quote Spongebob?”--Karl and Sapnap play a game. It involves slapping each other's asses. Inspired by a Tumblr prompt (because where would you find this prompt anywhere else).
Relationships: Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 9
Kudos: 243





	i wanna see some ass

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in two hours so uh. yeah. 
> 
> um. enjoy?

“Did you just slap my ass?” Karl asks; his eyes popping out of their sockets. Sapnap is semi-red, but a damn cheeky smirk plasters his face, anyway. 

“Actually,” he begins, a tremor in his voice. “I firmly grasped it.” He waggles his finger around like he made some sort of sound statement. He did not. 

“Did you…” Karl glances at Sapnap, his eyebrows furrowing. “Did you just… _quote_ Spongebob?” 

Sapnap shakily crosses his arms, closing his eyes to avoid awkward eye contact. “You’re well versed in tv shows, Karl.” His voice cracks when he says his name. 

Karl stands there, his eyes boring into Sapnap. Sapnap, of course, refuses to look at him back. His eyes are still closed in what Karl assumes is fear. 

He’s not mad, of course, he’s just… surprised. I mean, how the hell are you supposed to react to your friend slapping your ass? Laugh? Cry? Kiss them on the lips? 

It takes Karl another moment before he says to Sapnap, “God, you’re a nerd.” 

Sapnap’s reaction is all too funny for Karl; he’s flushed red, covering his face with his hands. He can only laugh in reply, his eyes darting anywhere but at Karl’s face. Before Karl can make fun of him again, he leaves the room, his tail between his legs.

* * *

The next time it happens (and yes, Sapnap has the guts to slap Karl’s ass again), they’re at a party. The only alcohol there is red wine, everything else is soda pop, so Karl can’t imagine why Sapnap slaps his ass when he sees him. He jumps this time, actually surprised at the sudden contact, but when he turns to see that it’s Sapnap, he can only stare. 

He has a red cup in his hand, filled with pink soda and nothing else. Sapnap’s face is red again, but not from partying. “Yo,” Sapnap greets, his voice more confident than before. 

“Yo?” Karl says back, still in shock that his friend slapped his ass for the second time. “Do you… want something?”

Karl’s not mad, of course, honestly, he finds it funny that his friend keeps slapping his behind. If he had a problem with it, he’d say it outright, but… he doesn’t. No wonder Sapnap’s so confident the second time. 

It’s now he realizes Sapnap’s playing a game with him. Karl can play too. 

“I want…” Sapnap begins as if he’s a stand-up comedian setting up a joke with an awful punchline. “You.”

“Me?” Karl acts confused, almost mad, but he feels his face redden as he looks at Sapnap. If Sapnap wants to play this game with him, he’ll put up a fight, but everyone knows Sapnap is easy to play with. Tug at the right places, he’s putty in your hands. 

Sapnap leans against the wall, a wobbly smirk on his face. “Yeah, uh, baby,” he bites his lip for a moment before continuing, “if you’d, uh, let me?”

“If this is your attempt at a joke, it’s terrible,” Karl says.

The younger man laughs a bit too violently, and his hand loses control of his drink. “Shit--” The drink splashes all over his hoodie, and he looks meekly at Karl before running into the bathroom.

Karl is alone again, and can barely process what just happened. 

Karl, two; Sapnap, zero?

* * *

Sapnap doesn’t slap Karl’s ass again, but he gets awfully close to him, more than ever before. They’re bros, homies, so close contact? Cool! But tonight, snuggling into Karl’s lap, leaning against his neck? 

Sapnap doesn’t like him, does he? It’s all a joke, right, some practical prank that Sapnap’s playing; a game he plays with Karl, only Karl.

Only Karl. He only does this with Karl. 

Oh.

“Ha!” Sapnap yells, turning to look at Karl. “You’re literal dog water.” His face is red with excitement; it’s kind of cute. 

_Oh._

It takes Karl a moment to yell back, “You’re going to get boxed like a fish next round!” He hopes Sapnap doesn’t realize his voice crack, all too strained and high-pitched. 

They play for two more hours until they tie. The two of them decide to take a water break, Sapnap leaving to head to the washroom. Karl thinks about Sapnap while he’s gone, how he sat in his lap for the entire time. He’s a living furnace, emitting heat and keeping Karl all too warm the whole time. 

He thinks about the way he looks at him sometimes, stealing glances when he thinks Karl’s not looking, but he is, he always is. How could he not? Sapnap’s a handsome boy, and cute to play around and tease with. He thinks about the party and how he spilled his drink and can only think about the way his face flushed under the lightbulbs. A perfect pink. 

And yeah, maybe he’s thinking about Sapnap a bit too much, letting him get too close. I mean, it’s normal, right? For your friend to slap your ass, right? And it’s normal to like it, right?

Oh, god. 

He doesn’t get any sensual pleasure out of it, of course, he’s never been one for that. But the thought of Sapnap being near him and teasing him, and seeing him go all red? 

Karl Jacobs is a man who sometimes gets crushes. Karl Jacobs is a man who sometimes simps. Karl Jacobs may be a man who may have a crush on a certain dark-haired boy, and he may simp for him. Potentially. 

The creak of the bathroom door interrupts his thoughts, thank god, and he looks at Sapnap. His face is still flushed red from all the adrenaline rushes from playing with Karl, leaving him looking as soft as ever. 

And Karl thinks. 

Karl, two; Sapnap, zero. 

To win a game, you need three points, right?

Something clicks in Karl’s head, but he doesn’t really process what he’s doing. His body moves, almost on instinct. 

And he slaps Sapnap’s ass. 

Sapnap turns around almost immediately, his hands going behind him to cover his behind. “Karl — what — huh?”

“I win,” Karl blurts out. His face must be red, even redder than Sapnap’s. “The game, I mean.”

Sapnap glances at Karl, regarding him for what seems to be the longest minute in history before saying, “What the fuck, Jacobs?” 

They lock eyes with each other before bursting into laughter, and Karl feels like he’s going to cry out of the sheer ridiculousness of this situation. The two of them stay like that for a while, basking in the comical high before it dies down. 

When they calm down, they’re clutching their stomachs, the heat of the moment slowly passing away. 

“So…” Karl says, his eyes darting at Sapnap.

“So…” Sapnap says back.

“I know what you’re playing at, Sap,” Karl replies with a grin. You like me don’t you, he wants to say, but he doesn’t. Sapnap knows what he’s doing.

Sapnap runs a hand through his hair, “You do, don’t you, Jacobs?” Sapnap moves closer to Karl and has the most confident look Karl’s ever seen from him. “Then you know what I want?” 

He notices the slight tremor in his voice on the last syllable and he smiles. 

Tug at the right places, he’s putty in your hands. 

So Karl leans forward and kisses Sapnap. He hears a shaky inhale from the man, and Karl grasps Sapnap’s shoulders as if to tell him it’s okay, he’s okay. Sapnap shudders, wrapping his hands around Karl’s hips and kisses back. 

And oh, it is wonderful. Sapnap’s lips are soft and rough, but it seems so like him, and Karl can’t help but fall in love deeper and deeper as the kiss goes on. He’s drinking Sapnap, drowning himself in him, smelling the slightest whiff of cologne, and Karl wants a little more, wants to hold him for a little while longer. 

But he needs to breathe, so he nudges Sapnap back, breathing heavily. He feels like he’s in another universe, but he doesn’t want to kiss Sapnap again. If he did, he couldn’t handle it. Soft touches will do, they always do for him at least, and he holds Sapnap close to him, hearing Sapnap breathe into his shoulder. 

“You okay?” Sapnap asks, and Karl realizes he’s been eerily quiet. 

He coughs, “Sorry, I guess it was a bit too much for me.”

“It’s okay,” Sapnap taps his shoulder, “I liked it. Kissing you, I mean.”

And Karl can’t help but laugh softly, holding Sapnap closer. 

“Does this mean I win?” Karl asks gently. Sapnap chuckles.

“You already did,” Sapnap tells him, “you won the day I fell in love with you.”

Karl laughs, the high-pitched giggle he does when he finds something actually funny. “I guess I stole your heart?”

The younger man pokes him in the stomach, causing Karl to laugh harder. “You did, Jacobs, now enjoy the moment.”

And he does, Karl basks into the soft feeling Sapnap gives him, and he couldn’t wish for anything more.

* * *

“Do I get a prize?”

“What prize? We’re dating now, what else could you possibly want?”

“It’s almost Halloween, soon, right?”

“Karl Jacobs, I will not dress up in those couples costumes--”

“Aw, come on, Sapnap! I’ll take you out to dinner and I’ll pay this time--”

“No, fuck you.”

“Sapnap!”

**Author's Note:**

> as an asexual myself I tried to incorporate ace stuff in this because karl said he's possibly on the spectrum ! thing is I'm also aro so bnvbbmbnm take this as you will
> 
> twt is @opalorphic ! talk to me, I'm super active there. kudos and comments appreciated!! <3


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